do these things exist?
i found out recently, that now that i have gotten over my ex, he professed that he “wanted me” …wtf? c’mon. if you really did, then you could’ve and you would’ve
but! good news :)
i met a boy, he’s extremely nice
we shared a kiss
he’s so sweet! but..! caveat caveat
i can’t get ahead of myself, that has really failed me in the past
i don’t know him too well, so i should wait a bit till i get to know him better :)
until then, we’ll see!
I’ll tell you everything about living free!
yahoo’s articles can be a bit strange at times.
i read all those relationship ones, dang maybe that’s why i keep rethinking it.
fuck you yahoo.
i refuse your cookie cutter relationships, i DEFY them.
i’ll have a better guy, a guy that can transcend all your needless rules and guidelines for relationships
YES. so fuck off, i can do my own shit.
maybe it was me…
it was me who didn’t love him enough
it was me who shuddered at the thought of a future (or was it scared)
it was me who wasn’t sure
it was me who was awkward in our lulls in conversations, when you said you enjoyed just being with me…
it was me!
it was my fault!
why didn’t i notice?
…
i thought i was doing ok
making him gifts, talking to him online, waiting for him
but when i think about it, i could’ve done more
if i had loved him, really truly loved him….i wonder how it would’ve turned out?
it’s too late now.
Why invest so much time?
It almost seems useless… acting so stupid, so paranoid, so crazy
Why make yourself this way? I would never!
But I did, and I’m not so sure why
It was even worse, because I knew that I was acting so crazy, I prevented myself from acting crazier, which in turn made me three times as crazy.
But it’s strange because I’m not that type of person! really!
Then why, if you’re with someone of great importance, do you suddenly get the emotions of a crazed, paranoid lunatic? You would expect yourself to be more level-headed, more calm, more yourself. Why should a person have so much influence over you? Why do you let them? Why does it feel nice to be with this person?
So, now you’re over this person, it’s been a while since you’ve seen them. They get back in touch with you and say that they have some errands to run in your area and says they might drop by.
Then insanity ensues.
You wonder:
“Will they come? When will they come? How is this going to work out? Will it be awkward? Will we be friends? Why aren’t they getting back to me? Should I set a day free so we can hang out?”
Then you wonder some more:
“Why am I thinking so much about this? Why are they becoming so important again in my mind? Do I still have lingering feel- No, don’t say it, it might make it come true. Then why am I acting so crazy, so stupid, so insane, so paranoid, so EVERYTHING again?”
You try to keep it off your mind until -pop!- there it goes in your head again, planning what you’ll do with them, imagining the feeling of walking next to them, talking next to them, laughing with them.
You refrain from telling your friends most of it since they don’t want you to get hurt and obviously tell you to just chill and not read too much into it. I KNOW. It’s just not as easy to stop the incessant flow of thoughts.
lists, lists, lists, lists running through my head
And there’s also all the images of the sweet kisses, the warm hugs, the familiar smell… something you always long for. You’re used to that one person, you’re going to want to get close to them even when they’re just here for a visit, just because you’re used to these lovely things. Things that are always waiting for you in the next fulfilling relationship you have.
So I shouldn’t be worrying about it.
Don’t worry about it.
Forget about it.
…
…..
…….
Shit.
I thought about it again.
P.S. this post is an over exaggeration of my thoughts hahaha so don’t worry too much about me. please :)
Lesson 1: Naked Wife
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, “I’ll…
you’re not fun to talk to anymore.
only talk to me when needed
you’re the one who said we should be friends…
…
….
…..
jackass.
to be posted later.
so, a couple days ago, i was creeped on by a guy following me for an hour after he said i was cute
oh god.
man, that was the most frustrating, exhausting, exasperating hour that i’ve had all week..
who doesn’t get “i’m not interested?”
y’know, i’ll learn to be more bitchy, or something like that i guess
…
though, as vapid as it sounds, i would’ve been fine with it if he was undeniably good-looking.
Not that it’s a regular occurrence or anything.
